Tonight, edit and revise your paper based on the comments made by your classmates. After you are done, print out a new copy. Give this new paper to a parent along with the rubric that we used in class. Explain the rubric. Also, before the parent or adult reads the paper, that they should give you suggestions for revision, but NOT try to rewrite the paper in any significant way. The second draft should reflect their help and suggestions, that the you then decided what actions to take in order to revise your paper.
If in class, you received a cumulative score below a 15 in either of the two categories (Ideas-Organization and Style-Conventions) that we scored in class, you are encouraged to attend Wednesday lunch in Room 601. The total number of students is about seven students. Bring your lunch and your old and new drafts so we can discuss ways to improve your paper.
Lastly, here are some common errors that students observed during our editing session today:
1. Remove labels for different sections of the essay.
2. Keep details and evidence for arguments in the body, but not in the introduction
3. Watch misuse of commas.
4. Avoid all self referencing - I, you, we, us. State all of ideas in the third person.
5. Avoid repeating the same idea more than once within the body. Instead, support an idea with new examples and explanations that give deeper details about the idea.
6. Pick the single best argument opposing your thesis. This is not a paper that presents all sides of the issue.
7. Use connecting language to tie examples, data and explanations to the argument it supports. Don't over explain an example.
8. Arguments must be based on facts, examples and data.
9. The lead sentence(s) must be interesting.
10. Define all technical terms used in your arguments.
See you tomorrow - Mr. Rodgers
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